


I Want to Be Your (Girl)Friend

by kiwiootori



Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, F/F, kind of a mess i'm sorry, side 2jin, side chuuves, side lipsoul, side olivia/gowon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-03
Updated: 2019-06-17
Packaged: 2020-02-16 17:44:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,762
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18696274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kiwiootori/pseuds/kiwiootori
Summary: Just like she has so many times before, Haseul catches herself watching Kahei work through the café window.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by me being in the library too much this semester. I've been wanting to write viseul for so long now so I just had to. Also sorry for any typos, I read over it once but I don't have time for any hardcore revision.  
> This story can also be found on [AFF](https://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/1401038) and [girls-scenarios](https://girls-scenarios.tumblr.com/post/184625085741/i-want-to-be-your-girlfriend-chapter-1).

Haseul has always considered herself a capable woman. Really, there isn’t much that she can’t do if she puts her mind to it. She’s never had too much trouble with school (although her dissertation is starting to challenge that) and she’s good at her job as a librarian, even if she didn’t major in research. She can almost always help when other students come to her with questions, and if she can’t help, she’ll get someone who can. She’s likable, makes friends quick, and adopts any younger friends even quicker. There’s only one thing that she isn’t good at: flirting. 

It isn’t like she’s never had any experience with flirting. She had a boyfriend or two in high school, and a girlfriend during her freshman year of college. But all three of them were people she’d known as friends before they started dating, and it had been a while since she’d been romantic with anyone at all, because going to school and having about ten adopted children tends to prevent that from happening.

“We aren’t kids, Haseul,” Sooyoung says when Haseul confides in her, narrowing her eyes. True, Sooyoung is actually a little bit older than her. But that doesn’t mean that she  _acts_  older.

“Just last week, you called me crying because you were drunk and dropped your sandwich while you were trying to get back to your laptop to write your essay. You’re a child, Sooyoung.”

“Whatever, that’s just called being a stressed out college student. Sometimes you just have to get drunk, drop your sandwich, and cry it out.”

“I’ve never done that,” Haseul points out, and the other girl shrugs.

“Maybe that’s just because you’re boring. How long has it been since you’ve been to a party?”

“A… while, but that’s not because I’m lame. I get invited to plenty of them, I just don’t have the time to go. Being a biology major isn’t easy, you know. Especially when you have an English minor and about twenty essays to write.”

Sooyoung at least has the decency to look a bit regretful of her accusation of Haseul’s lameness (although this is Sooyoung, she never feels sorry for long). “Okay, you have a point. But still. You just need to get out there more. Talk to some hot people. Flirt a little. Build your game. It’s not that hard.”

“Says the notorious flirt.”

“Hey! I’m not that bad anymore, I have a girlfriend!”

“Just the other day I saw you flirting with Jinsol.”

“It was a _joke_ , Haseul.”

“If you girls are going to do nothing but talk, you might as well go on your break, Haseul.” Her boss Amber’s voice sounds from behind her, and she turns to give the older girl a sheepish smile, but Amber just waves it off. She never really gets mad (except for that one time a kid named Chan spilled coffee all over the periodicals, but that’s different) so Haseul knows she isn’t in trouble. “Just get me a coffee from the café on your way back, yeah? I’m bar-coding all the new books for the semester and my head hurts.”

“Will do, thanks Amber,” Haseul says, giving her a boss a thumbs-up before she turns back to Sooyoung. “I’ll be right back. Let me clock out.”

It isn’t until she’s back on the floor without her badge that she realizes: she’s going to have to go to the café. The thought makes her freeze a bit, and Sooyoung eyes her suspiciously.

“You good there, dude?”

“Yeah, I’m good. Sorry, just remembered something.”

“Okay cool. Let’s go because I want a coffee too.” She shifts her backpack on her shoulder as she turns away, oblivious to Haseul’s inner struggle. After a moment of psyching herself up, she swallows and catches up to her best friend, shoving her hands into her pockets and hoping that Kahei wasn’t working today.

Unfortunately, pale pink hair can be seen from behind the counter as soon as they walk in, and Haseul feels her stomach flip. She’s here today. Of course she is. Kahei works just as much as Haseul, and they seem to have the same schedule. Haseul has seen her there a hundred times, from passing to get to work, or coming in to grab Amber and herself some coffee. But somehow the butterflies never go away, and she can feel herself getting nervous as Sooyoung leads her up to the counter.

“Hello, what can I get started for you guys?” Kahei’s voice is soft as ever, barely audible over the music playing from behind the counter, and Haseul’s heart jumps.

“I’m going to have a caramel macchiato, please. Put as many shots in as you can, I have to study soon.” Sooyoung gives Kahei one of her playful smiles, and Kahei laughs.

“I get that, good luck with your studies.”

“Thank you! Good luck with yours too.” Sooyoung is smooth, even without realizing it, so it isn’t a surprise that Kahei likes her right away. Haseul still feels a pang of jealousy at how easy the two talk.

“And for you?” That soft voice is directed her way and she feels her throat close up a bit, making her stutter for a moment.

“O-oh, um, just a cold brew, please.”

“Of course. Do you want your usual vanilla sweetener added?” Her eyes widen. Kahei has her order memorized?

“Yes, please.”

“And is Amber getting anything today?” Oh, yeah. Amber is here much more often than Haseul, since she usually does the coffee runs. She’s probably mentioned her a few times in passing.

“I’ll be back to get hers before my shift ends, if that’s okay.” She’s proud that she doesn’t stutter again, even if her mouth does feel a little dry.

“That’s okay! I’ll have your drinks ready in a moment.” As Kahei processes the payment and steps away from the counter, Haseul can feel Sooyoung’s eyes drilling holes into the side of her head.

“What was that?” She whispers when the other girl walks over. Haseul tries to act innocent.

“What was what?”

“Jo Haseul? Getting nervous? Stuttering? Who are you? Your face is even pink!”

Groaning, she shoves her friend and rolls her eyes. “Shut up, she might hear you.” That isn’t the right thing for her to say, because Sooyoung’s eyes light up and she looks from Kahei behind the counter to Haseul and then back again, before letting out a low and somehow quiet whistle.

“Wow. So that’s why you were talking about flirting earlier.”

Haseul elbows her as Kahei walks up to the counter, two drinks in hand. “Shut _up_.”

“Here’s your drinks, girls! I’ll see you again soon!” She gives them a little wave after they take their drinks, and belatedly, Haseul waves back, making Sooyoung snort out a laugh as they walk to a corner table far from the counter.

“I can’t believe what I just saw. This is so good. Wait until the rest of the girls hear about this.”

“I swear to god, Sooyoung, don’t you dare,” Haseul says, but she knows it’s already too late.

“Kahei’s cute. You have good taste. And she was looking at you a lot over her shoulder.”

“You don’t have to pity me,” Haseul mutters, taking a sip of her drink. This is why she never goes on break with her friends. There’s always consequences. “I’m too shy to really talk to her, like, outside of ordering and everything. She’s just too pretty.”

“I have literally never known you to be shy. This is crazy.”

“Surprise? I get shy around people I really like.”

“So you don’t actually like me?” Sooyoung’s voice is playful, but Haseul rolls her eyes again anyway.

“Romantically,  _dummy_.”

“I was trying to make a joke,  _mom_.”

“Whatever. I just. Haven’t had any experience with love or flirting recently and she makes me so nervous I think I’d mess up even if I tried.”

“You should try anyway. She might think it’s cute.”

“I’d rather not embarrass myself like that.” Haseul glances back at the counter, where the girl of her dreams is cleaning the coffee machine. The pink in her hair is fading back to a brown color, but she still looks gorgeous. Especially with her lips pursed in concentration as she scrubs at what must be a stubborn stain. How does she look so good in a polo shirt?

“Staring at her from afar is creepy,” Sooyoung says, kicking Haseul under the table. The younger girl whips her head around to glare at her best friend.

“You know what? I decided not to help you with your essay this weekend after all. Have fun with that.”

“What? No, Haseullie! Please! I can’t do it without you!”

Eventually, her break is almost over, and she steadies herself as she walks back up to the counter, giving Kahei a nervous smile. “I’m back for more.”

“Already?” She lets out a little giggle, and it’s like music to Haseul’s ears. So soft, yet melodic somehow. “Amber’s usual, I assume?” Haseul just nods, suddenly speechless as she watches Kahei key in the drink with those pretty fingers of hers. She’s wearing a new pink ring that Haseul has never seen before, and Haseul has never been the biggest fan of wearing jewelry at work herself (it gets in the way, okay) but it looks cute on her. “Will that be all?”

“Um, yeah, that’s all. Thanks, Kahei.” Maybe it’s just her imagination, but the older girl seems to perk up at the mention of her name.

“You’re welcome, I’ll have that drink up in no time, Haseul!”

Haseul returns to the desk with a slight flush to her cheeks, dropping the coffee off in front of Amber before rushing off to grab her badge, and Sooyoung leans against the counter, watching her go. “She’s so whipped for the girl in the café. It’s funny how red she got when the girl remembered her name.”

“I know, right? I’m trying to set them up right now, but neither of them will make a move,” Amber says, shaking her head with a little laugh. “It’s kind of cute, right?”

Sooyoung grins and holds out her fist to fist-bump the older girl. “I knew I liked you for a reason.”

As Haseul returns to the desk to see her best friend and boss grinning at each other, conspiracy written all over their faces, she sighs and buries her face in her hands, making a mental note to never trust either of them with anything again.

-

“Haseul likes the library café barista,” Sooyoung says as soon as she sits down at their usual study table, and Haseul resists the urge to throw something, because Haseul is a full-grown adult (and she doesn’t want to lose her job for throwing things in the library). At her revelation, the entire table lights up, and Haseul wonders if the kids would respect her if she was actually their mom.

“Wait, which one? The one with the pink hair?” Yeojin asks, leaning forward with wide eyes. “She’s an exchange student from China, right?”

Haseul raises her eyebrows, turning to look at the baby of the group. “She is?” She’s met with a look of disbelief.

“You have a crush on her and you didn’t know that?”

“The poor thing can hardly talk to her guys,” Sooyoung reveals, grinning like she’s just won the lottery. “You should have seen her. She stuttered, like, the whole time, and even blushed when Kahei called her by name. It was great.” Yerim lets out a little squeal, and Haseul immediately shushes her on instinct. They aren’t in the silent area, but still. It’s the  _library_.

“I’m glad you all find my suffering amusing,” she says, shaking her head and going back to her laptop.

“Wait, you really like her?” Jiwoo asks, looking all too excited. “That’s so cute!”

“This is total romcom material,” Jungeun points out, looking up from her laptop and pushing her glasses back. “Mind if I steal your romance and turn it into a story?”

“There isn’t any romance, guys.” Haseul shakes her head. “Seriously, I just have a little crush.”

“It’s more than little,” Sooyoung says, and Jiwoo (bless her) reaches over to place her hand on Haseul’s shoulder.

“If you like her, I think you should do something about it. I’ll even help! We can all help!” Jiwoo’s suggestion makes Hyunjin and Hyejoo groan, and the rest of the group nod.

“Yeah, that would be fun!” Yeojin is bouncing in her seat as she speaks, and Haseul has flashbacks to the last time her friends tried to “help” with her love life.

“No. Absolutely not. I’m happy being a single mom.”

“You aren’t even a mom!”

“Moms deserve to be happy too!”

“I’m sure she wouldn’t mind that you already have ten kids.”

“We won’t blow anything up this time, because it’s a library, not a biology classroom.” Yerim says it like it’s comforting or something, and Haseul once again has a flashback to poor Saerom blinking at her in confusion, both of their clothes drenched in some unknown pink substance and their hair standing on end from the blast that had sent both of them reeling towards the emergency showers. Thankfully, nothing got in their eyes and Saerom is still her friend despite the most botched confession in history, but the memory still stands stark in her mind.

“Dating isn’t a bad thing.” Sooyoung wraps her arm around Jiwoo’s shoulders and leans into her. “Seriously, I would highly recommend it.” The rest of the girls (other than Yeojin and Yerim) look at each other and nod. With a sigh, Haseul runs her fingers through her hair and closes her eyes. Kahei’s smile dances behind her eyelids, and she knows that the kids are right.

“I’m terrible at flirting, though. What if I make it uncomfortable?”

“I’ll teach you how to flirt,” Sooyoung offers.

“Also, I know someone who works at the café too. I can have her ask about you,” Heejin says, “her name is Mimi, you might have seen her?”

Sooyoung chuckles and shakes her head. “Trust me, the only person Haseul’s paying attention to in there is Kahei.” Haseul isn’t going to admit it, but it’s true. She can barely remember the faces of the other girls working there.

“I think I remember her,” she lies, “but isn’t that a little bit embarrassing?”

“I could always just tell her to ask if Kahei likes anyone. Apparently they’re pretty close.”

It isn’t her favorite idea, but Haseul doesn’t have any others, so she sighs, giving in to the girls. “Fine. Have Mimi ask Kahei.”

Sooyoung grins, celebrating her victory with a fist pump. “There you go! Now we just have flirting class to get to!”

“Mom’s getting a girlfriend,” Chaewon sings softly, and Haseul lets her head fall onto the table, wondering if being concussed will help her feel less embarrassed by her friends. It doesn’t help, because Heejin and Hyunjin join in with Chaewon, and Yeojin hums a dramatic, made up tune as Yerim giggles in the background, and all Haseul can do is hope that this doesn’t end like last time.

-

Just like she has so many times before, Haseul catches herself watching Kahei work through the café window. Every time, she tells herself that it isn’t creepy, because her eyes just move on their own. Even when she’s helping students or organizing books, as long as she’s on the first floor, she’ll catch her eyes wandering back to the familiar pink hair. Today, though, there isn’t much for her to do, so Haseul settles on watching the other girl work through the window.

Kahei moves and works smoothly, always with a smile on her lips as her fingers hover over the register or her skilled hands put together sandwiches or coffees of all types. Haseul has never seen her flustered, either, no matter how busy it gets, she never seemed to be phased. Even on the days when Haseul goes in after a big rush, Kahei seems just as beautiful and calm as ever, not a single hair out of place. It’s a skill that Haseul envies.

As she watches, a tall girl walks up to the register and earns a bright smile from Kahei as the barista reaches across to fix the girl’s bangs. The girl seems young, like she’s hardly a freshman, but Kahei seems to know her well, and it makes Haseul’s heart pang as she watches the two talk. The girl is a better fit for Kahei anyway. They’re both beautiful in that angelic type of way that Haseul strove for in high school, only to give up on once she reached college. The girl is probably an angel on earth, and Haseul is, well, a mom, and a librarian with thick-rimmed glasses and a bob haircut because it’s easier to take care of with her busy schedule. The girl blows Kahei a kiss, and Haseul watches the girl of her dreams giggle and shake her head as she turns around to make a drink.

She begins biting at her bottom lip, lost in thought as she watches Kahei go through the now-familiar process of making a latte. Do pretty girls like Kahei even date girls like her?

“Hey, Haseul?” A familiar voice breaks her out of her thoughts and she turns around to see Jinsol standing there with a stack of books in her arms. “Can you check these out for me?”

“Oh, sure!” Haseul hopes her lips aren’t too chapped as she takes the books from the younger girl’s arms and places them down on the desk, quickly logging in to the system.

“Slow day?” Jinsol asks, looking around as she fishes through her backpack for her student ID.

“Yeah, pretty slow. Midterms are mostly over.”

“I wish. My poetry professor is so behind that we’re only just starting our midterm essay.”

“That explains all the books on Gertrude Stein,” Haseul says, raising her eyebrows as she slips the receipt into the top book and hands the stack back to her friend. “Good luck with that.”

“Thanks, I appreciate it.” Jinsol’s eyes dart over to the café and she clears her throat. “Um, I saw you looking when I came up and I just want to say that you should follow your heart. I was really nervous to ask Jungeun out because she seemed so cool and calculated but it turned out that she was just too nervous to talk to me. It really paid off for me, you know?”

Haseul smiles at her. “I know. I’m the one who encouraged you to confess, remember?”

“Oh. Yeah. But I’m just saying that if you really like her you should let her know. Or something. Sorry, my brain is kind of dead right now.” She picks up her books and sends Haseul a grin. “Thanks for everything, mom.”

“No problem,” Haseul replies, waving as she walks away despite her slight confusion at the other girl’s words. Is she really that obvious?

Her eyes move back to the café, and she notices that the tall girl has gone, leaving Kahei alone once again behind the counter. For a moment, Haseul thinks their eyes might meet, as the older girl turns around and glances through the glass. But it’s too far away to tell, and she turns back around almost immediately, leaving Haseul watching the back of her head again.

“You know, you could just go and talk to her,” Amber says from behind her, making her jump and spin around, putting her hand on her chest.

“Boss! Don’t scare me like that!”

“Sorry,” Amber says, but she’s grinning like she doesn’t mean it. “But I mean what I said. You should go in there, you’ve been staring all day.”

“Am I that obvious?” Haseul says it out loud this time, and Amber nods.

“To anyone who knows you? Yes. You get this dreamy look on your face. It’s cute, actually.”

Haseul can feel her face getting red as she looks down at her desk. “That’s gross.” Her voice wavers a bit, and Amber reaches over to put her hand on her head, messing up her hair in the process and making her whine.

“You shouldn’t deny your feelings, dude. You know, my girlfriend is a singer.”

“Wait, really?” Suddenly intrigued, Haseul forgets her red face and looks up at her boss.

“Really. Have you heard of Luna?”

“Of course I’ve heard of Luna. She’s the most famous graduate from this school. She’s gone on to have tons of hit singles.” Haseul squints at the older girl and sits down on the stool behind the desk, crossing her arms. “You’re telling me that you’re dating her? How?”

“My charm and good looks,” Amber says, making Haseul laugh as she pulls out her phone and hands it over. Sure enough, the lockscreen photo is of her and Luna, with Luna kissing her on the cheek. “I thought she was so out of my league, because I was a research major. But I was also on the basketball team, and turns out, she used to come to all of my games. One day after a good game I looked up and she was right there and I just had to shoot my shot. I was all gross and sweaty but I asked her on a date and she said yes. And the rest is history.”

Haseul stares down at the photo on the screen as Amber talks, feeling something turn in her chest. They both look so happy together, and it makes Haseul realize that she wants that: she wants to take cute photos with Kahei and kiss her cheek and laugh about stupid things with her. Her feelings for Kahei go further than a crush now, and her hand shakes slightly at the revelation as she hands Amber her phone.

“You two are really cute,” she says, like her entire world didn’t just shift.

“Thank you! What I’m saying is that you should shoot your shot no matter how out of your league you think Kahei is. You’ll regret it later if you don’t, take it from your old boss.”

“You aren’t old.” Haseul feels a bit dizzy as she glances back towards the café and spots Kahei’s familiar pink hair. “Don’t say that.”

“Just think about what I said, okay?”

Haseul is pretty sure she won’t be able to  _stop_  thinking about it now, but she just nods, trying to ignore the way her heart picks up in her chest. “Okay.”

-

As it turns out, Haseul doesn’t have to think about Amber’s words for long, because the next day, she looks up to see a familiar girl standing at the desk. She fumbles with the books in her hands, mouth going dry as she tries not to make a fool of herself.

“Kahei! H-hey, what brings you over to our side of the library?” She asks, carefully putting down the books and smiling her best smile as she walks over to the desk. It’s hard not to get distracted by the sparkle in Kahei’s eyes, but she notices that the girl isn’t in her uniform today, and that she has her backpack perched on her shoulders.

“Haseul, hey! I actually needed your help with an essay, if that’s okay?”

Haseul blinks. Kahei is asking her for help, and she can help, because it’s her job. She just needs to get her heart to stop doing back-flips first. “That’s what I’m here for. What do you need help with?”

Kahei beams at her and puts her notebook on the desk, quickly flipping through it. “I just need help finding the right sources. I’m still a bit rusty at writing in another language, you know?”

A pang shoots through Haseul’s chest at her words, and she bites her lip, resolving to put away her own nervousness and help her any way she could. “Let’s get to work, then. I’ll help you write the best possible essay.” She’s still nervous, of course, but Kahei’s bright smile helps sooth all the thoughts running through her brain and makes it so, so worth it.

Kahei is easy to like, especially because she seems to have a lot in common with Haseul. She talks soft and has a sweet laugh and covers her mouth to make sure she isn’t too loud for the library, but she’s also serious about her schoolwork, listening closely to everything Haseul says while she nods her head in understanding. She isn’t afraid to ask questions if she has an idea or needs clarification, and Haseul likes that. It’s obvious that she’s a good student, and her quiet dedication makes the process seem to fly by. When Haseul checks her watch, she realizes that they’ve already been at this for more than an hour, but she’s not tired like she’d usually be. Talking to Kahei has been... fun.

“Can I ask you a question?” Kahei asks from over her laptop, and Haseul turns to look at the girl beside her, nodding her head. “Why did you become a librarian?” Her question makes Haseul stop and think. Why  _did_  she become a librarian?

“Well, I’ve always loved books and helping people, and I was already doing tutoring, so this just seemed like the next step.”

Kahei smiles, and Haseul feels her heart skip. “You’re a good librarian. Thanks so much for all your help.”

“It’s no problem.” She knows her face is flushed, but Haseul doesn’t look away this time. “I-I couldn’t do it without you supplying me with coffee, though.” The statement makes Kahei laugh, and a few other tables turn to look at them, but Haseul can’t bring herself to care right now.

“Anyone can make coffee, though.”

“I like yours the best.”

Kahei’s face flushes and she tucks her hair behind her ear, looking down at her laptop with a smile. “I’m glad to be able to help, then.” 

Haseul’s heart goes crazy, but she tries not to show it, clearing her throat and looking down at one of the books on the table. “I’m glad to be able to help you too.”

Later, after Kahei has gone (turning to give Haseul a little wave and a smile that makes her feel a little faint before she goes) Haseul sits behind the desk, staring down at the pile of returned books underneath. Her thoughts are full of Kahei and her smile, and Amber’s words from the day before play in her head, mixing with Kahei’s laugh and her own doubts. A copy of  _The Scarlet Letter_  blinks up at her from inside the box, and she knows what its saying, even if she’s afraid to listen.

_“Tell her, or you’ll regret it.”_


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I meant to have this up ages ago but I kept struggling with the ending... Anyway, I hope that everyone enjoys the final chapter and thanks for your support of this work!

Telling the kids about Kahei had been her first mistake. Her second mistake is buckling under Sooyoung’s intense gaze after she walks over to the kid’s study session looking a bit too happy.

“I know something happened,” Sooyoung says, crossing her arms and sending Haseul a look that she tries to ignore, flipping the page of Hyejoo’s psychology paper instead of looking back at her. The library is crowded today, so she really doesn’t want to talk about this here.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Haseul’s voice breaks as she speaks, betraying her.

“Don’t lie,” Jiwoo says as she squeals, and Haseul shushes her with the vigor of a long-time librarian, if only because they’re much, much closer to the cafe today and she doesn’t need Kahei walking by and hearing one of the girls saying something stupid and not because she’s actually on the clock this time. “Come on, something happened with Kahei, right?” Jiwoo leans her head on Sooyoung’s shoulder, and Haseul knows that she can’t stay mad at her. The girl is just too damn cute.

“Fess up,” Jinsol says, suddenly pushing away her books and leaning forward, apparently giving up on her poetry essay. Her eyes are sparkling, like she’s just reached the big romantic scene in one of the anime she’s been obsessed with recently. “Did it have anything to do with what I told you the other day?”

“You told Haseul something? You, giving advice?” Jungeun looks a little skeptical as she peeks over her laptop, and Jinsol elbows her and huffs, shaking her head. Her girlfriend grins and reaches out to give her hand a little squeeze, and Haseul doesn’t like the voice in her head that tells her that she wants what they have.

“Believe it or not, I gave good advice! At least, I think I did. I didn’t really sleep the night before so it might have been better in my head.”

Haseul smiles and reaches across the table to pat Jinsol’s free hand, a reassuring gesture. No matter how much of a handful Jinsol was, she always meant well. “Your advice was good. Thank you.”

“So it did have something to do with my advice?” Jinsol perks up, and the rest of the table turns to look at Haseul with wide eyes. She figures that she walked right into that one. On one hand, she doesn’t want to tell them because she knows what will happen. But on the other hand, Jinsol looks so happy at the idea of helping and Sooyoung is still staring holes into her head, so she caves.

“Well, yeah, kinda. I talked some to Kahei after you left.”

“What? How? You didn’t explode of awkwardness?” Yeojin is much too loud for the library, but what’s new. Haseul is used to shushing her at this point. But Sooyoung joins her this time, reaching to put her hand over the youngest girl’s mouth.

“Yeojin, this is a library, please shut the-.”

“Nope, we aren’t saying that,” Haseul says, interrupting Sooyoung and reaching over to separate the two. “No cursing in the library unless it’s finals week.”

“Fine, mom,” Sooyoung says, pouting a bit, but almost immediately she perks back up. “So, you were telling us about talking with Kahei? How did that go? Did you get her number? Did you ask her out?”

“Ah- no. We just talked. And I helped her with an essay.” Haseul can feel the girls staring at her, and she sinks down into her chair, refusing to look at them. She feels a bit like a teenager again, nervous with sweaty palms and all. “That’s my job.”

“So boring,” Yerim whines, letting her head fall onto Hyejoo’s shoulder. Hyejoo looks like she wants to shove her off, but she doesn’t, restraining herself and just sighing as she turns back to her homework, and Haseul feels like a proud parent before she remembers what’s happening. “I was expecting something bigger! Better!”

“You have to step your game up or you’re going to be a crazy cat lady,” Hyunjin says, still staring at her phone.

“I don’t even like cats.” Even as Haseul mutters it, she knows it’s not true. That doesn’t stop her from sticking to it, even as Sooyoung hits her with another look.

“That was seriously all?”

“Yes, we had a very nice talk!”

“A very nice talk isn’t going to get you anywhere.”

“Listen, I know you kids like to take things fast these days-.”

“You’re younger than me!”

“I’m still not comfortable with moving that fast, Sooyoung. Let me take this at my pace.”

Sooyoung huffs and crosses her arms again, but sits back, and Haseul believes for a minute that the topic might be dropped. Then Heejin clears her throat.

“So, I talked to Mimi.”

Despite Haseul’s better judgement, she can’t help being a little bit curious. She resists asking for barely a second before sighing and giving away to the curiosity.

“And?” The table collectively “ooo”s and she shushes them again, face burning. This is a bad idea.

“Mimi said that Kahei told her that she is interested in someone, but she got all flustered and wouldn’t say a name.” Flustered. She’s never seen Kahei flustered, so it’s hard to imagine. And since Kahei didn’t mention a name, it could be anyone, including the pretty tall girl from days ago. So it’s useless to get her hopes up. “But Mimi said that she thinks the person Kahei likes works in the library because she always catches Kahei looking out the window into the library instead of outside.” Heejin is grinning now, and Haseul can feel her face heat up again. Pretty tall girl doesn’t work in the library, does she?

“Sounds like you,” Yerim says cheerfully, and Haseul has never been so happy to hear the bell ringing at the help desk.

“Sorry, gotta go! Work calls!” She stands up so fast that it makes her dizzy, but she only stops long enough to slide Hyejoo’s paper back over to her before fast-walking away from the table, her customer-service smile plastered onto her face as she greeted the student at the desk, trying to ignore the fact that she could feel her friends still watching her go.

-

Haseul doesn’t usually work the late-night shift, so she’s not used to how empty the library is this late at night. Most people have already packed up their things and left the main area, the café closed hours ago, and the only students left in the library are packed into the study rooms, finishing up last-minute projects and essays while they still have the time. It’s eerie, almost, being alone in the artificial light surrounded by books, but she’s already locked the doors and closed down some of the unused floors, so now she’s just watching the clock, waiting for the overnight guy to clock in.

The library is always quiet, but being able to hear the clock ticking is unnerving, so she sighs and stands up, stretching. It wouldn’t hurt to go on another round, so she walks around the desk and shoves her hands into her pockets, heading over to check the doors. Just as she gets over to them, the far right door buzzes, signalling that someone has unlocked it with their student ID, and her brain helpfully tells her that it could be a murderer. She probably shouldn’t have watched that Ted Bundy documentary the night before because her brain goes crazy, and she’s about to back away when she catches sight of pink hair, and her heartbeat picks up for an entirely different reason.

It is, in fact, Kahei, and she looks surprised when she steps in and sees Haseul awkwardly standing there against the wall.

“Haseul?”

“That’s me. Hi Kahei.” It’s lame, and she grimaces as the words come out of her mouth, but Kahei just smiles like the angel she is. Somehow, even in the ugly yellow artificial lights, she looks gorgeous, and Haseul thinks that if Kahei was a murderer, she’d still let the girl do whatever she wants.

It’s a weird thought.

“Are you working late tonight?”

“Yep, the girl working this shift called out so Amber had me come in to cover for her. The overnight librarian should be here soon, but I was just, uh, checking that the doors are locked.” She gives Kahei a smile in return and runs her fingers through her hair. “Did you forget something?”

“Well, kind of.” Kahei twists her hands together, and for the first time, Haseul notices the nervous look on her face. “I lost my ring but I didn’t realize it was gone until I got home. And then I had to turn something in, so I didn’t have time to come back until now. I’m glad it’s you who’s working tonight, though. The other girl makes me nervous....”

“Soyeon _is_  pretty intimidating,” Haseul says, glancing back at the front desk. Nobody was going to need her help this late at night. There were three students in the library now, tops. Plus, even if they did need help, Youngjae would be there soon enough. “I’ll help you look for it. It’s the pink one you usually wear, right?” As the words leave her mouth, she realizes that it might sound weird that she knows what jewelry Kahei wears every day, but the other girl lights up, so she figures it’s okay.

“That’s the one! You’ll really help me?”

“Of course, what kind of person would I be if I made you look by yourself? Plus, I have the keys to get into the cafe.”

Kahei giggles, and Haseul feels her heart soar. “Good point. Still, thank you, I appreciate it.” Taking the keys from her pocket, Haseul leads the way over to the cafe door, heart pounding inside her chest. A risky idea pops into her head, and she clears her throat as she takes out her phone, turning to the other girl.

“Hey, why don’t we exchange phone numbers? That way if something like this happens again, you can just text me and I can come help you out.”

Kahei looks at her with wide eyes and Haseul wonders for a moment if she’s passed a line before she smiles shyly. “I wouldn’t want to bother you....”

“You wouldn’t be bothering me, trust me. I’m always happy to help, that’s why I’m a librarian.”

“If you’re sure it’s no problem.” Kahei pulls out her own phone, and Haseul smiles at the sight of the cute cat charm on it. It’s just how she’d expected Kahei’s phone to look: cute. Her hands are sweaty as she takes the phone, and she hopes that Kahei doesn’t notice when she quickly wipes them on her shirt before putting in her phone number. When Kahei gives her back her phone, there’s a little smiley emoji beside her name, and it makes Haseul smile. Cute.

“There we go. Text me if you ever need anything,” Haseul says with her best smile (it happens to also be her ‘mom’ smile but she tries not to think about that as she approaches the cafe door). Kahei slips the phone back into her pocket as Haseul opens the door, stepping forward.

“Thanks again, Haseul. I really appreciate you helping me search. I panicked a bit when I noticed that it was gone.” The nervous look is back, and Haseul quickly flips one of the lights. They buzz and blink to life above the cafe counter, and she squints a bit at the sudden light. 

“Don’t worry, we’ll find it. Was it a gift from someone?”

“Yes. It was a gift from my mom. She gave it to me for Christmas when I went to visit.” Kahei twists her hands together again as she moves towards the counter, and Haseul quietly follows her. “I really can’t lose it.”

“It must be hard to be away from home for so long,” Haseul says softly, putting a hand on Kahei’s shoulder. She almost seems to lean into it as she looks down at the floor.

“It is. Although I really like it here, it’s impossible not to miss home sometimes, you know? But whenever I had the ring on, it made me feel close to my mom. It’s kind of stupid, but it helps.”

“It’s not stupid at all.” Haseul’s voice is still soft, yet firm, and Kahei looks up, locking eyes with her. “Missing home isn’t stupid. I understand. My parents aren’t as far away as yours, but it’s still a long train ride away. And having a photo of my family in my room makes them feel closer.” She swallows, nervous but determined. “I’m not going to leave until we find that ring for you, okay?”

Kahei smiles suddenly, and before Haseul knows what’s happening, the other girl’s arms are around her in a hug. “Thank you. This means a lot to me.” She pulls away quickly, but Haseul feels a little bit dizzy regardless, heart going nuts in her chest. Did this girl not know how gorgeous she was? That was dangerous for Haseul’s sanity. “You’re really sweet, Haseul.”

“I try.” She takes a deep breath to steady herself. “So should we start looking?”

As small as the cafe is, the ring is even smaller, and Haseul had only turned on the lights above the main part of the counter, so the further back she goes, the darker it gets, making her wish she’d flipped on all the switches. It’s much quieter than she’s used to, and she wonders if Kahei can hear how hard her heart is still beating, still not recovered from the hug. Her mind is clogged with thoughts of Kahei (like always) but her eyes catch a glimmer on the floor near the back fridge and the counter. It’s just a small glimmer, stuck between two surfaces, but when she walks over to investigate, a flash of pink can be seen, and she quickly gets down on her knees to get a closer look. Even in the dark, she can tell it’s the ring, and she hopes that there aren’t any bugs as she reaches into the crevice to pull it out.

Thankfully, the ring is still intact, and she dusts it off as she stands up, feeling relieved. “Kahei! I found the ring!”

“You found it? Thank you!” Her voice comes from the other side of the counter, and when Haseul looks up, Kahei is standing right outside the ring of light. In the dim lighting, only her face is illuminated, pink lips slightly parted and dark eyes big and round, and her hair looks like it’s light red instead of pink. She’s beautiful, and the sight makes Haseul a little breathless until Kahei tilts her head, confused at her prolonged silence. Clearing her throat, Haseul walked over with a smile, hoping that the light wouldn’t show the blush on her cheeks.

“Your hair looks kind of red in this lighting, I almost didn’t recognize you,” she jokes as she holds out the ring, and Kahei raises her eyebrows as she takes the ring, gently sliding it onto her finger.

“Is my hair color the only way you recognize me?”

“Of course not. But I think red would look good on you.”

“Yeah?” She reaches up to tug gently at her bangs. “I’ve never thought about red before.”

“Maybe the universe is trying to tell you something.” Haseul’s words make Kahei laugh, and she touches the ring again.

“Maybe. Thanks for helping me find this, Haseul. It means a lot to me.”

“You’re welcome. I told you I’d find it.”

Kahei tucks her hair behind her ears, and Haseul’s mouth goes a little dry. “Your next coffee is on me. As a thanks.”

“You don’t have to do that,” Haseul says, but the other girl just shakes her head.

“I’m going to, though. Because I want to.” She pulls out her own keys and smiles, and Haseul is probably imagining things, but it suddenly seems a little brighter in the closed cafe. “See you tomorrow?”

“See you tomorrow. Be safe getting home.”

“You too!” The older girl gives her a little wave as she turns to go, and Haseul waves back, watching her as she left. Her heart is still beating hard inside her chest, and she swallows, clutching her keys as she heads back to the light switch to close up again. Something in her head tells her that she’s whipped, but she tries not to think about it, because she knows what the feelings in her chest mean: she’s head over heels for Kahei, and there is no way she can go back now.

-

Once again, Haseul finds herself staying late at the library, but this time, it isn’t with Kahei, and she’s not on the clock. Instead, she’s tucked at the back of the library with Hyejoo, reading her textbook as the younger girl clicks away on her laptop. They’ve been here for hours, ever since Haseul got off, but she doesn’t mind, glancing up every other page to check on Hyejoo’s progress. At one of the glances, Hyejoo sighs and stretches her arms out in front of her, looking over at Haseul with sleepy eyes.

“You can go home, Haseul,” Hyejoo says as she yawns. “I don’t want to keep you here all night.”

“I’m not leaving you here to walk home this late at night,” Haseul says fondly, giving the younger girl a smile. “You’re getting close. You only have two pages left, right?”

“Yeah.” Hyejoo is obviously tired, and the Red Bull no longer seems to be working as she blinks at her laptop, fingers stalled over the keyboard. Haseul knows how she must be feeling, so she closes her book and reaches over to put her hand on Hyejoo’s wrist.

“It might be better if you get some sleep and finish tomorrow morning.”

“But what if I sleep through my alarm? Then I won’t be done in time for class....”

“I’ll come wake you up, don’t worry. You want to write the best paper you can, and you can’t write a good paper if you can barely keep your eyes open.”

Hyejoo stares at her laptop, thinking for a moment before she saves the paper and shuts it down. “Okay. If you don’t mind waking me up, I’ll do it in the morning.”

“Of course I don’t mind, silly.” Haseul slips her textbook into her backpack and zips it up. “Ready to go, then?”

Hyejoo gives her a sleepy smile. “I’m ready.”

Haseul’s car isn’t far outside the library, parked in the employee parking, and she makes sure that Hyejoo gets safely into the passenger seat before getting in herself and starting it up. For Haseul, it’s still pretty early and she’s used to working this late only to get up early in the morning: it’s the unhealthy sleeping habit of a longtime university student. But for Hyejoo it’s much too late, and she’s already almost nodding off in the passenger seat. It’s cute, Haseul thinks as she pulls away from the library, headed for their dorms at the other end of campus.

Hyejoo must not want to sleep yet, though, because she shakes herself awake and yawns again, turning to the older girl with sleepy eyes. “Hey, how’s everything going with Kahei?”

“You sound like Sooyoung,” Haseul says, but she humors the younger girl. “We’ve been texting recently, but we’re both busy. It’s nearing finals season and since we’re both working on our masters now, it’s a lot of work.” Hyejoo hums from the passenger seat, and she’s quiet for a moment, so Haseul thinks she might drop it. But as they pull into Haseul’s parking spot, she hugs the backpack in her lap closer and clears her throat.

“You should have more confidence in yourself. You’re really nice and really pretty. And I know you don’t think you’re cool, but everyone else thinks you’re cool. We all admire how good you are at school and how you always try your best to help people, and how you can do anything you put your mind to.” Haseul’s eyes are wide as she looks at her, but Hyejoo continues. “You’re a catch, Haseul. Stop thinking that Kahei wouldn’t want to date you.” She opens the door, and the car dings, snapping Haseul out of it and making her quickly kill the engine and get out, grabbing her own bag. She’s not used to the compliments, and it makes her feel a little awkward, but also fond as she reached over to gently ruffle the younger girl’s hair.

“Well. Thank you, Hyejoo. I’ll keep that in mind.”

“Yeah.”

Haseul doesn’t get that much sleep that night, Kahei’s smile behind her eyelids and Hyejoo’s words echoing in her ears.

-

When Haseul finally has enough time to take a break and walks into the cafe a few days later, the first thing she notices is the auburn-red hair behind the counter. The words she said that night in the cafe replay in her head and butterflies begin to go crazy as she slips her hands into her pockets and walks up to the counter.

Sure enough, it’s Kahei, and she smiles widely when she sees Haseul, tying her apron as she walks over. “Did you finally come in for your complimentary coffee?”

“Yeah, I finally had a break between students over at the desk. It’s a busy time for us librarians.”

“I can imagine. I’ve been serving twice the amount of caffeine I usually do. Finals season is upon us,” Kahei says, and there’s a sparkle in her eyes. Haseul loves it, but doesn’t say it, biting her tongue. “Your normal again?”

“Yes, please,” Haseul replies, and tries to ignore how Mimi is staring at her with a grin from the espresso machine. Kahei stalls, like she’s waiting for something, and Haseul clears her throat, trying to seem nonchalant. “I like the new hair color.”

It’s what she was waiting for, because Kahei breaks out into a shy smile as she ducks her head. “Ah, thank you. I thought about what you said the other night and decided to try red. Does it look as good as it did before?”

“It looks great on you,” Haseul says truthfully, and she doesn’t miss the flush on Kahei’s cheeks as she tugs at her hair.

“Good, I’m happy.” For a moment, they’re both silent, just smiling at each other, before someone behind Haseul coughs, breaking the moment. “Oh, I guess I have other guests to serve. And you have struggling students to help.” Her words make Haseul laugh, and she seems happy. “I’ll have your drink up for you soon. Good luck with the rest of your day.”

“Same to you.” As Haseul steps out of line, she glances back at Kahei. The red really does look great on her, and she’s happy she suggested it. The ring on her finger glitters as she tucks her hair behind her ears again, and Haseul quickly looks away, heartbeat picking up like it always did around Kahei.

“I have a latte for Haseul?” Mimi calls from behind the counter, like she doesn’t know who Haseul is, and Haseul sighs as she walks up to take it, shooting the other girl a polite smile.

“Thank you,” she says, and Mimi winks at her.

“No, thank  _you._ ”

She doesn’t want to know what that means, so she just nods awkwardly and escapes back to her help desk, cup clutched tightly in her hands. Amber looks up at her with raised eyebrows, and Haseul knows she’s been watching through the window.

“So, Kahei has red hair now. Did that have anything to do with you and her in the cafe the other night?”

Haseul jumps a bit and looks at her boss with wide eyes. “How do you know about that?”

“Youngjae told me.”

“Youngjae, what a snitch,” Haseul mutters, and Amber looks like she wants to push further, but another group of tired and wide-eyed students walk up to the counter, and she turns away reluctantly. Relieved, Haseul happily greets the students, but when she glances towards the cafe, she notices a certain red-haired girl looking right back at her. Kahei quickly turns away, but that doesn’t stop Haseul’s brain from short-circuiting, leaving her on pause in the middle of checking out a student’s books until the student awkwardly calls her name, snapping her out of it.

Amber snickers from beside her, and Haseul wonders when she became the useless gay of her friend group.

-

If there’s one thing that Haseul’s good at, it’s helping people. She’s confident when it comes to homework, no matter the subject. Tutoring comes naturally for her. So when Kahei texts her asking if they can study for finals together, Haseul immediately agrees. Somehow, she isn’t nervous when it comes to studying with Kahei. Maybe it’s because she knows that it’s something that she can do, but she feels comfortable sitting by Kahei’s side, quietly explaining anything she needs. Books and homework are familiar. And at some point, Kaheibecame familiar too.

It’s not the most fun thing to do on Friday nights, but studying with Kahei late into the evening becomes a habit that Haseul wouldn’t trade for the world. They usually use the library, an easy place that’s both safe and practical. But this Friday it’s apparent as soon as Haseul steps inside that their practical space is going to have to change. With finals creeping closer, the library has progressively gotten more and more crowded, now to the point of overflowing with stressed students desperately trying to get ready for the end of the semester. As a librarian, it doesn’t take long for her to realize there’s no space left but the floor, so she sighs and pulls out her phone, finger hovering over Kahei’s contact.

Until now, the library has been their safe space. But Haseul knows that there’s only one place left to go as she takes a deep breath and presses the call button next to the other girl’s name, slowly bringing the phone up to her ear.

“Haseul? What’s up?” The other girl sounds sweet even through the phone, and Haseul can hear the smile in her voice as she walks outside.

“It looks like the library is completely full today,” she says, playing with her hair with her free hand. “So I was wondering if you’d mind just studying at my dorm. I have a bigger room and my roommate won’t be home until late, so it should work out.” Her heart jumps around in her chest and she chews on her lip, holding her breath as she listens to Kahei hum in thought.

“That should be okay. You’ll have to walk me there, though. I don’t know where you live.”

”Oh, I’ll drive you! I always use the employee parking behind the library so we can just meet here.”

“You have a car? Nice!” Kahei laughs softly on the other side of the line. “I’ll be right over.”

“See you soon.” As she hangs up the phone, Haseul sinks onto one of the benches outside the library, letting out a sigh of relief. She doesn’t know what this means, but she also doesn’t have the time to think about it, so she busies herself reading her textbook until a gentle hand touches her shoulder and she looks up to see Kahei smiling at her.

“Are you ready to go?”

“Ready when you are,” Haseul says as she stands, returning her smile. “Sorry for springing a last-minute change on you.”

“It’s okay. I kind of thought it would get too busy in the library eventually.” It’s already getting late, and Kahei’s hair glows in the evening sunlight as she turns to look at the library. “This is a big campus, after all.”

“True.” Haseul knows a lot of words, big and impressive words. Her essays are perfect flows of impressive sentences strung together with professional language. She’s never gotten anything below a perfect grade when it comes to her writing. But somehow, she forgets all those big words when she’s with Kahei, stuttering over a tied tongue as she tries to find the right things to say. For now, she just pulls out her keys and settles on “the parking lot is this way” with a shy smile, stomach twisting as she finally realizes that Kahei is going to be in her  _room_.

Her crush. In her room. Alone with her.

She can only hope that Hyunjin has cleaned her side of the room recently.

“I’m still amazed that you have a car,” Kahei says as the walk around the side of the library, breaking the silence. “I don’t think I know any other students with a car.”

Haseul feels herself blushing, a bit embarrassed. “It was a present from my parents about a year ago. It’s nothing special, but it does the job.” It’s true, her car has no bells and whistles to speak of. It’s plain and a bit ugly, but it’s hers, and she’s happy to have it. It looks a bit plain, now that she looks at it, bit Kahei smiles so she figures it can’t be that bad.

“I think it’s nice. I wish I had my drivers licence. It seems like it would be convenient.”

“I could always teach you to drive.” Haseul doesn’t know where all of her confidence today came from, but she’s not complaining as she snaps her seat belt into place and looks over at the other girl. “My car is relatively easy to drive anyway.”

Kahei’s face lights up and she raises her eyebrows. “Really? I don’t want to be a bother.”

“It’s nothing. After finals, just remind me and I can teach you a little.”

“I’d like that.” The red-head’s smile is contagious, and Haseul finds herself smiling the rest of the way to her dorms, happy to listen to the other girl’s soft voice as she tells her about her day.

Her dorm isn’t anything too special, but she’s proud of it. Still, Haseul can’t help but feel a little nervous as she opens the door and steps inside, making room for Kahei to come in behind her. It’s a bit bigger than some of the other dorms, with a private bathroom and tiny little “kitchen” area that consists of a sink, fridge, and microwave. There’s also enough room to have a small table with cushion seats pushed up against the wall, and Haseul motions to it as she kicks off her shoes.

“That’s usually where we do our homework. Go ahead and make yourself at home, I’ll grab some waters.”

“Thank you,” the older girl says, voice still soft as she closes the door behind her and steps inside, looking around curiously. Thankfully, the table is clean, and as Kahei sits down, Haseul arrives with two cold water bottles in hand. There’s a little bit of something in the air, but Haseul does her best to ignore it and push down her feelings as she sits down and gives the other girl a smile. It’s time to study.

“So, should we get started?”

They don’t get very far. Hardly thirty minutes pass by before Kahei’s stomach rumbles and Haseul looks up, eyebrows raised. The older girl looks a bit embarrassed as she shifts in her seat, and Haseul’s mom instincts kick in before she can even pause to think that maybe showing this side of her to her crush might not be the best idea.

“Are you hungry?”

Kahei rubs at the back of her neck. “I haven’t really eaten since lunch time, but I kind of forgot until now...”

“Since lunch?” Mom alarm sirens go off in her head, and Haseul immediately reaches for her phone. “Kahei! You can’t do that, you need to eat! I’ll order us some takeout.”

“You don’t have to do that,” Kahei says, a flush on her cheeks, but Haseul just shakes her head.

“I do have to. I’m hungry too anyway. And it’s bad to study on an empty stomach.”

The older girl bites her lip and clasps her hands together, an undecipherable look on her face, and Haseul wishes she knew what she was thinking as she looks away. “I’ll pay you back.”

“My treat.” Haseul misses the way Kahei’s flush gets deeper, looking through her phone contacts instead. “So, what are you in the mood for?”

They end up settling on chicken, and Hyunjin returns to the dorm to find them snacking on chicken while they study, notes scattered all over the table and Haseul’s phone playing some lo-fi playlist. The younger girl raises her eyebrows, but says nothing, just giving Haseul a discreet thumbs-up as she passes them to head to her bed. Kahei glances towards her when she flops down on the bed before turning back to Haseul. Suddenly, her shoulders are a little tight and she sits up straight, seeming almost nervous.

“Should I go? I don’t want to be in the way.”

It’s Hyunjin who answers from the bed, voice muffled from the pillow she buried her face in. “You aren’t in the way. Stay as long as you’d like.”

“Just pretend she doesn’t exist,” Haseul jokes, and the older girl humors her with a smile, but she still seems nervous and shy, shifting around in her seat.

“Maybe I’ll stay for a little longer, then.”

Despite her words, Kahei only stays for about a half-an-hour longer before insisting she should go.

“I have the morning shift at the cafe tomorrow,” she explains, and Haseul winces, feeling her pain. Morning shifts suck.

“I’ll walk you back, then.”

“You don’t have to. My dorm is just a couple blocks down.”

“But I want to.”

Kahei’s expression is unreadable, but she agrees, something twinkling in her eyes and a smile tugging at the side of her mouth. The night is crisp and quiet, and Haseul shivers a bit as she steps outside, though whether it’s because of the night chill or because of Kahei’s presence, she doesn’t know. Although silence with the older girl is usually comfortable, tonight there’s a bit of tension in the air that she doesn’t know how to deal with. It’s not heavy, but it almost feels like expectation, and Haseul’s mouth is dry as they approach the other girl’s dorm building.

“This is it,” Kahei says, clutching at her bag straps as she turns to look at the other girl. “Thanks for walking me back.”

“I couldn’t just let you walk alone,” Haseul says in return, and Kahei stalls for a moment. Silence hangs in the air, stars twinkling in the sky and artificial lights throwing shadows across their faces as they stand there on the stairs, stuck on pause. Kahei looks gorgeous even in the bad lighting, her red hair pulled back into a messy ponytail and her face bare, mouth slightly parted, and Haseul wonders what would happen if she kissed her. But the idea barely touches her mind before Kahei clears her throat and breaks eye contact, smiling awkwardly.

Haseul missed her chance, and she feels her heart flop in her chest as she shoves her hands into her pockets and tries her best to smile back.

“Um, would you like to come in and warm up with some tea before you leave?”

“Sure, I’d like that.”

-

When Haseul gets home, Hyunjin is waiting for her on her bed, eyes wide with curiosity. Haseul almost doesn’t have the heart to tell her the truth, because she knows exactly what the younger girl is thinking.

“So, what happened?”

With a sigh, Haseul tugs off her flannel and sinks into her own bed, closing her eyes. Behind her eyelids, the scene on the steps plays again, and she feels her heart pang. “Nothing. I walked her home and she invited me in for some tea and we chatted a little. And then I came back.” At the sound of Hyunjin’s groan, she opens her eyes and looks at the bed opposite hers. “What, were you expecting something?”

“It was the perfect time to kiss her! And you missed it! How emotionally constipated can you be?” Hyunjin groans again and falls back onto her bed, and Haseul looks back up at the ceiling. Had she messed up by not kissing Kahei back there? What would have happened if she did? Why didn’t she have the courage to just confess?

“Yeah,” Haseul says, closing her eyes again, voice soulless. “Yeah, I know.”

-

Finals are hell. Not even years of experience can soften the blow, and between doing her own finals and helping other students with theirs, Haseul is exhausted. After her last essay is done, she collapses into bed, skips her last class (it’s pointless, anyway) and sleeps until her alarm goes off to let her know that she needs to go to work.

Thankfully, the library is pretty much empty now that almost everyone is done with their finals, so when Haseul drags herself in five minutes late, Amber isn’t mad. Instead, she pats the younger girl on the head with a sympathetic smile and tells her that she can do the easy job of manning the front desk today, meaning that Haseul can probably nap in the office later if she’s lucky. It’s still early, though, so she settles into her chair behind the desk and tries not to doze off.

At some point, she’s unsuccessful and closes her eyes, because the next thing she knows, someone is clearing their throat, waking her up. She jumps slightly, gripping at her chair as she opens her eyes wide. On the opposite side of the desk is Kahei, and the younger girl knows she’s blushing as she blinks a few times, trying to wake herself.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you!” Kahei’s eyes widen and she takes a step forward, leaning over the desk with concern written all over her face. Embarrassed, Haseul waves her hand and coughs slightly, silently praying that she hadn’t drooled or snored or done anything else embarrassing while the other girl was there.

“It’s okay! I shouldn’t have been sleeping anyway,” she says, awkwardly running her hand through her hair and trying to slyly make sure there’s nothing on her face without letting Kahei see. Why was she always so awkward like this? “Um, is there something I can help you with?” It’s hard to force words out of her sleepy brain, sluggish from forcing herself to write all night, and she tries her best to focus on Kahei, not wanting to miss anything and make a fool out of herself.

“Um, no, not really. I just wanted to bring you a coffee since I figured you’d be tired after finals.” There’s a flush on her cheeks as Kahei smiles shyly and holds up the cup in her hand. “I guess I was right.” The older girl is framed by the shitty library lights and shelves of books upon books, nothing special and nothing new, but to Haseul, she looks like an angel. She looks nervous somehow, shifting from foot to foot as she holds out the coffee, but as Haseul takes the coffee from the other girl’s hands, her tired no-filter brain takes over and words tumble out of her mouth before she can stop them.

“How are you so perfect?”

Immediately, Kahei flushes a shade of red that Haseul has never seen before, almost matching her hair as she stutters, eyes wide. It’s only then that the words register in Haseul’s mind and wake her up, and her face flushes to match Kahei’s as she wonders if she can melt into the floor out of embarrassment, mentally kicking herself. Why did she say that? Why is she like this?

“I-I’m not perfect,” Kahei squeaks, bringing her hands up to cover her face, and Haseul’s heart feels like it might explode because she’s just so cute that it hurts. “B-But thank you.”

It’s obvious that there’s not going back now. You can’t just tell someone that they’re perfect and then just pretend it didn’t happen. So Haseul takes a deep breath and wraps her hands around the warm cup of coffee from Kahei, gathering up her nerves. “This is kind of out of nowhere but, um, I like you. And you’re perfect to me.”

Somehow, Kahei gets even redder, but there’s a smile on her lips. “Like, as in more than a friend?”

“Yeah. I like you much more than I like any of my friends. I actually like you more than anyone I’ve ever met.” That’s... a weird thing to say, but she can’t un-say it, so she just goes with it. “I’ve liked you for a long time.”

“Oh.” Kahei seems to let out a breath that she’d been holding and as she pulls her hands away from her face, her smile grows. “I like you too. More than a friend does.”

“That’s good. Great. Awesome.” Haseul hates her tired brain. “Oh my god I’m sorry I’m so awkward.”

Kahei giggles and tucks her hair behind her ears, and Haseul smiles like an idiot and almost falls out of her chair because  _cute_. “It’s okay, I’m awkward too.” For a moment, they just stare at each other, blushing and grinning like crazy, until Kahei clears her throat and looks back at the cafe. “Um, I should probably get going. Mimi will get upset if I leave her to man the lunch rush by herself.”

“Oh, right.” Right. They’re both at work. This is a professional environment. Haseul really needs to drink this coffee.

“I’ll text you later?” Kahei looks hopeful and Haseul quickly nods her head.

“Yes! If you want, I can take you home after work.”

“I’d like that.” Kahei turns away and gives her a little wave, and Haseul waves back.

“I’ll see you then. Good luck with the rest of your shift!”

“You too. Don’t fall asleep again!”

It’s only after Kahei leaves that Haseul realizes that she didn’t ask her to be her girlfriend, and her head slams against the desk so loudly that Amber pokes her head around the office corner to shush her.

-

The rest of the evening drags by, and Haseul finds herself watching the clock impatiently, now wide awake as she waits for her shift to end. By the time her shift finally does end, she’s jittery, heart refusing to calm down as she clocks out with record speed. Amber seems to know what’s going on, because she lets her go a bit early to match up with the cafe schedule, sending her a wink and telling her to “get some” as she leaves. Haseul’s face heats up and she rolls her eyes, but she’d be lying if she said the idea didn’t linger for a bit in her head.

Kahei is waiting for her at the back of the library and she brightens up when she sees her, jumping up from the bench she’d been sitting on and clutching at her bag. “How was work?” She asks as Haseul approaches her, smiling widely.

“It dragged by,” Haseul says, truthfully, and Kahei laughs. “How about you?”

“Same here. I kept looking at the clock hoping it was time to close.”

“Me too.” Again, both of them are grinning, a slight flush on their cheeks, and Haseul clears her throat awkwardly. “Um, I realized that I never actually asked you to date me.”

“Oh, true.” Kahei giggles again, making Haseul’s heartbeat skyrocket. “Are you asking now?”

“I am. Will you be my girlfriend, Kahei?”

“Of course I will.” The older girl reaches out to take her hand, surprising her. “I’m really happy right now.”

Haseul feels a bit breathless. “I am too.”

The whole ride to Kahei’s apartment, the older girl holds one of her hands, telling her about her day and listening with a smile when Haseul talks about hers. It’s comfortable, and even though Haseul feels giddy, she also feels right. Kahei beside her feels right, and she wishes she would have done this earlier.

She says as much, and Kahei laughs softly, squeezing her hand. “Don’t. I’m happy with how things worked out,” she says, and her words calm Haseul’s heart, making her smile and look down at their intertwined hands.

“I am too.”

The drive is short, and as Haseul pulls into a parking spot outside the dorm building, she’s struck by deja-vu. For a moment, the air is silent, and then Haseul turns to look at her new girlfriend, heart picking up at the thought.

“Kahei?”

“Yes?”

“Can I kiss you?”

“Yes.”

Kahei’s lips are soft, much softer than Haseul’s own, and she smells like a mixture of rose perfume and coffee as Haseul leans in closer. The older girl brings a hand up to gently run her fingers over Haseul’s jaw, deepening the kiss. She tastes like coffee and the cookies from the library cafe, and kisses slow, taking her time to explore Haseul’s lips and mouth for herself.

When they finally pull apart, Haseul is breathless and head-over-heels in love, heart pounding as Kahei smiles shyly and tucks her hair behind her ears again. “Would you like to come inside for a cup of tea? And maybe something more?”

Haseul swallows and tries to contain her excitement, even as a smile breaks out across her face. “I’d love to.”

-

“Fucking finally!”

“Yeojin, language,” Haseul says, shushing the younger girl out of habit, but her hearts not in it. Instead, a silly smile stays on her lips as Kahei giggles and takes her hand under the table, moving just a bit closer to her.

“I second that statement,” Yerim says with a grin, raising her hand. “It’s great to finally see the two of you together.”

Sooyoung turns to look at Kahei and shakes her head. “I’m sorry our mom here took so long to ask you out. We tried to tell her to just go for it, but noooo.”

“Mom?” Kahei tilts her head a bit and Haseul covers her face with her free hand.

“I’m the mom friend,” she says, sighing a bit. “It’s a long story.”

“I hope you’re ready to have ten children,” Jiwoo chirps, and Haseul sends her a glare that her heart really isn’t in.

“Please don’t scare away my girlfriend, thanks.”

“I won’t get scared away that easily, don’t worry,” Kahei says with a giggle, leaning her head onto Haseul’s shoulder. “I’m ready to help you with all your adopted kids.” Haseul can feel herself flush, smiling again as she squeezes Kahei’s hand under the table, heart skipping a beat.

With a whistle, Hyunjin raises her eyebrows and looks over at Haseul. “Wow, you got a keeper. Not only is she willing to deal with your awkward self, but all of your adopted children too!”

“Jungeun is already writing the plot to a rom-com based on you,” Jinsoul informs Kahei with a smile, “she’s really great at writing, you’ll love it.”

“Does this mean we get free coffee at the cafe?” Heejin asks, and Hyejoo looks up, suddenly interested.

With a coolness that Haseul wishes she had, Kahei smiles and shakes her head. “Nope. Not even my girlfriend gets that. I have rules to follow.” That’s a lie, and Haseul has to stifle a laugh.

“Wow. Cut off just like that.” Yeojin dramatically wipes away a tear. “She’s going to be the stern parent.”

“Hey, I’m a stern parent!”

“Can we please stop referring to them as our actual parents?” Sooyoung shivers. “It’s weirding me out.”

“Sorry, they’re our parents,” Chaewon says, bouncing in her seat. “I’ve always wanted two moms!”

Sooyoung blinks and stares at the younger girl for a moment before just shaking her head. “That’s.... Super weird, thanks for sharing.”

“That’s not weird!”

“Stop shaming your sister, babe.”

“That’s also weird! Don’t rope me into this!”

As the table dissolved into chaos, Haseul sighed and shook her head, glad that finals were over and no one was around to complain about how loud they were. “Sorry about them. They’re kind of a lot.”

“No, I like it.” Kahei smiles as she looks up at her, and Haseul’s heart squeezes. “I like them. It’s fun, isn’t it?”

“I really did get lucky, didn’t I?”

“You hit the jackpot,” Kahei says, before immediately blushing and burying her face in Haseul’s shoulder. “That was so lame, I’m sorry.”

“I like lame,” Haseul replies, grinning as she looks down at her girlfriend. “I like anything you say.”

“That’s cheesy.” The older girl looks up with her eyebrows raised, smiling softly. “You’re lucky I like cheesy.”

“True.” Haseul leans in, pressing a quick kiss to her girlfriend’s lips that makes her flush and giggle, once again hiding her face in Haseul’s shoulder. The younger girl’s heart soars, and she can’t help the giant smile spreading across her face, happiness written all over her. Like this, the chaos around them fades away, and for a moment, it’s just the two of them in the room. “I like you a lot, you know.”

Kahei looks up, ignoring the squealing from the other girls. The red in her hair is fading and it almost looks pink again, and Haseul is reminded for a moment of the first time she thought Kahei was perfect as her breath catches in her throat. And then she remembers that Kahei is actually her  _girlfriend_  as the older girl presses a kiss to her jaw and squeezes her hand, making a love-sick grin move across her lips as Kahei whispers her response for only Haseul to hear.

“Good, because I like you too.”


End file.
